THE QUIET HUSTLE

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Dear QH,
Life feels like a constant juggle—work, kids, commitments, and never-ending to-do lists. How does one realistically find time to keep the romance alive with their partner?

Regards,

Trying to ReKendall

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Dear Trying to ReKendall,

You’re not alone in asking this. For many of us, “romance” can feel like something that belongs to another chapter of life—before school runs, deadlines, or that late-night email ping. But the truth is, romance doesn’t have to be grand or time-consuming. It’s less about carving out hours you don’t have, and more about weaving intention into the time you already share.

Start small. Think of romance as a daily practice, not a calendar event. A handwritten note slipped into a laptop bag. Holding hands while waiting for the coffee to brew. Saying “thank you” not just for the big gestures, but for the everyday—packing lunches, folding washing, showing up. Tiny rituals of care can be surprisingly powerful.

Next, be deliberate about time. Diaries are full of meetings and appointments, yet too often partners are pencilled in only as an afterthought. Reverse that. Whether it’s a Tuesday night walk around the block or 15 minutes chatting in the car before picking up the kids, treat that time as non-negotiable. Regularity builds connection more than occasional extravagance.

Finally, don’t confuse romance with perfection. Life is messy, and sometimes the most meaningful moments come from simply choosing to be present amid the chaos. A glass of wine on the deck after bedtime. A shared joke over dishes. The warmth of sitting in silence together after a long day.

Romance isn’t found, it’s created—in small, intentional moments that say, “You matter.” In busy seasons, those little sparks can be the glue that keeps everything else together.

Cantabrian’s Closing Thought:
Romance doesn’t demand more hours in the day—it asks for more presence in the ones you already have.