Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
'The Single Life' is a series created anonymously by a local writer currently on the 40's dating scene. In collaboration with Cantabrian Magazine, 'The Single Life' offers a hilarious inside look at dating in the Garden City while living in a modern world.
These tales are observations that can apply to any age and stage in the dating world today, and we hope you enjoy this exclusive series on the search for love and an account of real-life dating.
My 3am musings this week had me asking myself, when it comes to having a single life, how single do you actually need to be? Are singleness levels like the layers of onion where it starts off fine but at a certain point it reduces you to tears? What actually is the definition of single?
What about Ms Stoic Singleton who believes that she has become a born-again-virgin from lack of action and feels there is more chance of being abducted by aliens than actually being in a relationship? Is she the true definition or has she just given up? Or is it Ms Satisfied Single, who is not even bothering to date, instead enjoying her friends, freedom and her vibrator, binge-watching Bridgerton S3 with wine and popcorn and relishing every second. Is she single or just a female choosing her own company over a man?
Another contender could be Ms Avoidant Single, going on multiple dates searching for Mr Right, treating her dating life like a full-time job and being open-minded to everyone who is not her “type” because, ‘well, you never know….’ I will confess that once upon a time, this was me. I went on so many dates! Sometimes two or three in one day. I honestly don’t know how I had the energy; all I can say is I was on a mission. Not only was I looking for Mr Right, but I realise now with the beauty of hindsight and therapy, that I was also avoiding the feeling of being single. When you are going out multiple nights a week, having weekend dates and spending evenings texting with various “potentials” giving you attention, it is easy to avoid the feelings of loneliness and boredom that can be a big part of being single. So, was I single? Yes, but barely.
My last definition is Ms Sexually Satisfied Single with her ‘friend with benefits’. Just in case there is anyone out there who has been hiding on Mars for the last 20 years- let me explain. A FWB is a person you know (and hopefully like) that you have sex with but who is unavailable (or unwanted) for all the other parts that would make it a relationship. At its best, it can be freeing and fun. A no-strings, physically fulfilling and enjoyable way to get your needs met without any complications. Staying the night is not essential so you can still get to starfish in your own bed and not have to deal with snoring! When both parties feel the same way, when nobody harbours secret expectations of the other and both know the rules and the parameters - it can be the perfect way to be single.
But, there can be a lot of buts! One person not being totally honest about how they feel and how much they want can cause no end of heartbreak and feelings of inadequacy. It is all too easy to secretly hope that the ‘benefits’ will magically morph into a full-blown relationship with all the trimmings. And even though Hollywood would have you believe that these things happen all the time, in reality, it is rare. Also, men have a much easier time keeping feelings out of the bedroom and do not experience the gush of oxytocin (the love hormone) after orgasm. So at worst, we can be left feeling cheap, resentful, rejected or used and in that case I believe it is better to be alone. Alone with a vibrator of course, but alone.
So, is this the new reality of a modern day single life? In lieu of proper relationship material, are we, as single modern women, finding a happy medium that allows us to have our cake and eat it? Or does having a friend with benefits or being a serial dater, jeopardise our chances of ever moving to the leafy suburbs of Couplesville?
My 3am musings finally left me with the sobering thought that being single can be whatever the hell we want it to be, but we are all human and humans are not designed to be alone. I may not be sure of much, but I do know that Mr Right is not going to beam into my living room while I am watching the next series of Bridgerton! So, maybe somewhere between serial dater and serial watcher is the sweet spot. And if I find myself in danger of becoming a born-again-virgin I am heading out to find myself a friend with benefits!
In a moment of utter boredom the other night I decided to watch Fifty Shades of Grey; it is two hours of my life I am not going to get back! However, the eye candy wasn’t too bad and it did give me some food for thought.
It got me thinking about our “guilty pleasures”. We all have them don’t we? And I'm not talking about eating a packet of Tim Tams in front of Love Island! When you start dating someone at what point do you confess your fantasies? Or when is the right time for him to tell you exactly what he likes to do in the bedroom? Perhaps he fancies himself as a Christian Grey? In conservative old Canterbury, how do you broach the more spicy subjects around sex? What is titillating for one person might be utterly disgusting to another. So how do you gauge it? And in this over 40’s man drought that we seem to be in, do you open your mind, and your legs, to things outside of your comfort zone, just so you can say “finally, I’m not single anymore!” Or, is Canterbury not so conservative after all?
In Fifty Shades, Christian Grey can get away with his penchant for inflicting pain and pleasure because he is a billionaire and ridiculously handsome. I am not sure he would have quite the allure if he was a middle aged, paunchy man living in trackies in Redwood! But, let us just say that you love a bit of slap and tickle, so to speak. How do you tell your new man that you have been dating for a few weeks that you love it a bit rough?
It reminds me of a man I heard from who met an amazing woman in Christchurch and had a few romantic dates before inviting her round to take things to the next level. She arrived with her petite overnight bag and after a romantic dinner they ascended to the bedroom where they started to consummate their blossoming relationship. In the middle of things she asked him to slap her. Then she asked him to slap her harder. Then, she reached into her overnight bag, and extracted handcuffs and a paddle and begged him to use them and not hold back! Sadly this deflated his ardour as he is a nice guy and his Mother taught him that a gentleman never raises his hand to a lady. Needless to say this lady left with her paddle between her legs and the relationship did not progress any further. But it begs the question when is too soon to discuss your sexual fantasies?
Assuming you did not meet on kinkysingles.co.nz, slappmehard.com or lookingforathruple.co.nz do you talk about your fantasies online before you meet? By the way, in case you want to head to these websites to find the love of your life - I just made them up. But I'm pretty sure you can find a webpage for just about any fetish you can think of (and probably some you never imagined!) But I digress.
Getting back to the “when” question…….Do you mention your guilty pleasures on the first date? Or wait till you’ve been together a while so you know they are into you? There are so many shades of grey when it comes to dating and new relationships, and if both parties are consenting adults, there is no wrong or right when it comes to sex and what turns you on. But agreeing to something you are not into, just because it took you so damn long to find this particular man, is not something that is ever worth doing.
Maybe the secret is finding someone you feel comfortable and safe with, with mutual respect and a desire to make each other happy. Under these circumstances, curling up with them and talking about your sexual fantasies or preferences should feel natural and easy.
Being able to have an open discussion about an open relationship or chatting about your fantasy about having a threesome should be something you can do safely and without judgement. You may find you are not with someone who wants the same things but we should never be willing to compromise our boundaries or values just because we don’t want to be single anymore.
I just hope I never meet anyone with a foot fetish as feet are just utterly gross and I am not sucking anybody’s toes under any circumstances.
There is nothing worse than carrying too much weight. No. Not the Easter weight you are worrying about; I am talking about the weight of expectations. Expectation can turn a fledgling, potential-filled first or second date into a handbrake that prevents the blossoming of a beautiful relationship. For both sexes there are heavy expectations that come with dating and relationships and often, they are not communicated well and they stop us knowing what is actually best for us.
For example, who organises the first date? Many women are so used to organising everything in our lives that we end up suggesting dates, arranging locations and booking tables. I believe our expectation is that most men will not plan the way that we do and since we are usually much more proactive in dating we feel we have to take the lead. But is this what we really want and is this what will encourage a man to pursue us? I know that I want a man who shows me he is interested by taking the lead and organising dates. I want to know he wants to make the effort, takes the time to plan it and most importantly, takes action. Are we as modern, self-assured women, removing the opportunity for men to show their interest by doing it all in our dating lives and perhaps in our relationships too?
Even more complicated is the expectations around who pays on the first date. This is huge! I will be honest, I am a traditionalist and believe that a man who is interested in me romantically should pay on the first date. It is courteous, gentlemanly, shows his interest in me and that he sees my value. To me, going Dutch suggests he is interested in just friendship since this is what friends do and shows no investment into a potential relationship.
I understand this is not every woman’s expectation. I have friends who have a totally different opinion, believing that they want to be equal, pay their own way and feel that a man paying means he thinks they cannot pay for their own dinner. Or even worse, they feel the man’s expectation is that paying for dinner means he is entitled to sex. Does a man really think that sex is only worth the cost of a main and a couple of glasses of wine? I hope not. I never worry about these things because I know my own worth. I am equal whether I pay or not and a healthy masculine male will know that. If your date has these expectations then I would say walk out with your head held high and never look back!
And talking of sex, the expectations around this is a minefield. Exactly how long do you wait before you have sex when you are dating? Clearly in this era of dating apps and sexual freedom, there is no set time for jumping into bed with your date. But if it is a relationship you are after then maybe we need to drop expectations and turn to science and psychology. Current expert thinking is that waiting at least a few weeks is beneficial if you want to secure your relationship and some even advocate waiting at least three months. I can hear your gasps and cynical laughs across the interweb because this was my reaction too. But how many of us have had a man be amazing for the first three months making us fall head over heels with their commitment, passion, kindness and attention? Then, slowly, they change because they cannot maintain the facade and because the thrill of the chase is over, they stop making the effort they made in the beginning.
When we have sex women release massive amounts of oxytocin (known as the ‘love drug’) and dopamine (the “feel good hormone”), and we get more attached and feel more in love and are heartbroken when we get ghosted or we feel men lose interest.
So is the solution holding off on sex for three months until you know the real nature of someone and can see a man for who he truly is without all these love drugs running rampant in our bodies? I don’t think that is realistic or doable for most people and as an expectation can be very damaging to the natural development of a relationship. But I do think that taking it slowly, getting to know someone, having authentic conversations about who you both are and what you are looking for is usually more successful. And most importantly, remember your worth and value and never let anyone else weigh you down with their heavy expectations.
If you are on Facebook or Instagram you may have noticed the rise in the dating app ‘alternatives’. Maybe it is because I am ‘on the market’ so to speak, or perhaps because Google is always listening to my conversations, but my feed is full of Singles Nights, Speed Dating, Singles Private Dinner Parties, Wine Tasting Date Nights and even Singles Dating Holidays.
The thought of being trapped on the holiday from hell with numerous women like myself, all competing widely for the affections of the one decent guy amongst a bunch of random old men fills me with dread. But the other options don’t sound too bad.
Because even though I have done my fair share of dating on apps I am not a fan as you probably already know. Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are basically beauty pageants where the beautiful (or beautifully filtered) are kept busy and everyone else seems to rotate around the same old faces over and over and over again with no matches in sight. Sadly Canterbury is not New York or London, so we don’t have a wide range of Apps, and if we do have new ones, there are only 10 people on them and we probably know them all already. So, on the surface, these new options seem like better IRL (in real life) alternatives. But are they really?!
Recent research on these dating events done by yours truly and my equally single friends, has highlighted an issue; there are too many women and not enough men! In fact, it can be almost a 2:1 ratio - not ideal. Consequently, I have seen adverts “Calling Single Men” or the intriguing “Men We Want YOU!’ all over social media. It seems that the people with the thankless task of organising these events are realising that men are just not rushing to attend. But why not? There are single men out there, we know that. Are they shy? Do they have dating fatigue? Or maybe, they’ve just put it in the too hard basket!
Hundreds of years ago finding a mate was much less complicated. You probably lived in a small town or village and there were probably only a handful of age-appropriate contenders for your affections. Not much choice, less expectations. You shyly noticed someone who hopefully noticed you. After parental agreement and a few bags of corn or a cow had changed hands, you were married. And that was that. Job done. They didn’t have to be everything to you. They just had to give you children, help you raise them, support them and put food on the table. Simple. You had your friends, your family, your village to supply the things your spouse could not supply. Life was simple. And, they probably died before they were 35!
Fast forward to now and we have too much choice. So much expectation of our partners to be fabulously attractive, be our lover (providing mind-blowing, adventurous sex of course), our team mate in our financial aspirations, a hands-on parent and housekeeper, our best friend and confidante and maybe even our business partner. It is a lot of pressure for a man when maybe all he wants is a simple life; a cold beer when he gets home, a hot meal and blow job while watching the footy!
Maybe it is just all too much effort for a guy to show up at these events, dressed up, with good chat and an interest in the women he is meeting. Maybe it is too confrontational for them; too much competition. I do hope I am wrong and I hope the event's organisers find the men they need to even up the numbers. Because I don’t really want the only phone number I get to be another female I’ve bonded with over our mutual dating experiences in Christchurch! I have enough female friends, so come on single guys, get up, scrub up, and show up - SINGLES NIGHTS NEED YOU!
This month we brace ourselves for the annual delight that is Valentines Day. Dating back hundreds of years to a Christian martyr called Valentine, who wrote his final letter to the jailer’s daughter signing it “Your Valentine”, February 14th has long been associated with love and romance in many celebrations around the world. Valentine's Day engenders a myriad of feelings and emotions ranging from eye-rolling cynicism to bright-eyed hopeful dreaming. Total disinterest to abject fear and trepidation. So, how the hell do we get through this potentially soul-destroying day that makes us feel more single than any other single person, ever?
Well, if we can’t avoid it by staying in bed under the duvet with a vibrator and extra batteries, then at least we should remove ourselves from the torture chamber that is Social Media. On the day Facebook, Instagram and the like will be awash with all the lovely things that people are doing for their special ones on this one enlightened day of the year. Flowers may be purchased and proudly presented like they had birthed every bud themselves. Dinner tables will be booked, usually only the week before though, so they end up somewhere “oh but it’s relaxed and casual darling”, when they really wanted 5th Street or King of Snake. The glowing photographs of beautiful people in their perfect couply lives, eating beautiful food and drinks and boasting enviable locations will bathe social media in a rose-gold glow of love and romance. Make you feel like you are the loneliest, least loveable person on earth.
But as a single lady I will not be losing sleep over zero bouquets or dinner reservations. I am very happy for those people who have a “date for Valentines Day”. I am not sad, or jealous, miserable or feeling unloved. Because I am waiting for the man who dates me everyday like it is Valentine's Day. I don’t mean flowers and dinner every day (although that would be lovely), I mean someone who chooses to love me, actively, every single day. A relationship takes work and effort and both parts of a couple need to “date” the other one every day. To make time for each other, listen to each other, celebrate each other and support each other. Not just on Valentine's Day.
But I have a another secret weapon for avoiding loneliness. It is something I was lucky enough to work out years ago, and that was, whether or not I had a romantic mate to love me, I had something better. Something more permanent and more enduring. I had friendship love. Friends I love and who loved me back. Who choose me and I choose them. Every Day. And without a doubt, friendship love has been the overwhelming love of my life. My soul mate. My ride or die.
So, on February 14th I will definitely be celebrating love, with my friends, the loves of my life. If you are in a relationship or have a date for this prestigious day, I wish you unicorns and rainbows, wondrous blooms, perfect dinner reservations and sharing plates for two. If you are single, gather your friends, hug them hard, tell them you love them and share your favourite stories over your favourite cocktail! There is nothing better!
A new year always heralds the arrival of the standard “new year's resolutions”. In addition to the “I will walk more/exercise more/journal/ eat salads everyday” type of resolutions, I have also noticed my friends and acquaintances deciding that they are finally going to find love and a relationship.
But what does this really mean? Sometimes, I feel that we put more time into planning a holiday than we do into finding a relationship. We say vague phrases like “I’ll know once I find it” or “I’ve put it out to the Universe”. But even on Amazon or Temu, you have to know what you want and specifically order it before it is delivered. I do not believe the Universe works any differently. So what do you want?
As we date in our 40’s and beyond it can sometimes feel like just finding a man over 40 with hair, no beer gut and that hasn’t dated all your friends in Christchurch, is pretty exciting! But it is not quite that simple. Dating in our autumn years means we are not just bringing a world of experience, career successes and a well-travelled passport into a relationship. We are usually bringing a set of designer baggage containing individual packing cubes filled with messy divorces, children, bereavement and heartbreak. So be careful with what you wish for, otherwise the Universe may just send you that relationship plus a free “gift with purchase” that involves emotional unavailability. a jealous ex or narcissistic tendencies. Knowing exactly what you want is vital.
Apparently the secret is to write your relationship list. Tony Robbins swears by it and used it to manifest his wife of many years. Many therapists and counsellors also advise that this is the best way to find the mate of your dreams and the key is to be specific. Like really really specific. For example, do not just write tall, professional and handsome. Write single (yes, really!), likes to dance, can cook, is emotionally available, loves PDA, surfs, has teenage or no children, can ride a horse, sails, bikes, hates rugby - whatever it is that floats your boat. These are your standards and by writing them down and reviewing them regularly, we put out our order to the Universe but also, more importantly, we give ourselves an opportunity to recognise it when we see it and remind ourselves of what we want when we fall for the bad boy who is hot, but also a hot mess!
And the final piece of the puzzle is to choose the right standards. Dating after 40 is not just about tall, rich or handsome. It is about building a life with someone, growing old with a man you love to be with and finding a teammate or partner-in-crime. Now in my 50’s, yes, I want to be attracted but I really want someone kind and committed to me rather than tall, someone emotionally available rather than wealthy, someone who is great at communication rather than drives a European car, someone who will massage my feet while we binge-watch our favourite TV show rather than have the status of a fancy job and never be at home.
Good luck with your list. I hope that this is the year you find love and a relationship that works for you. But think about not just who gets your heart racing, but also who you truly connect with, because you can be more lonely in bed next to someone hot you are not connected to, than when you are alone.
Next month we will be talking about Boundaries! What boundaries do you have and how do you communicate them to the guys you are dating? We would love to hear!
The Festive Season is upon us! As a single woman over 40 in Christchurch, this time of year can be the most depressing time of the whole year. But it can also be the most social with Christmas parties, gatherings, BBQ’s and work do’s. So many opportunities to drink and have “fun” when really you are trying to pretend that when you get home you are not totally and completely alone. Whoops - we are back to the depressing part! So how do people survive the silly season as a singleton?
Some single ladies start thinking about this situation months in advance. Since they do not want to be alone at Christmas they start planning to find a man, any man, just so they are not on their own at Christmas parties and BBQs. Getting back together with an ex is a popular one - better the devil you know than to be alone, right? This might seem like a good solution on the surface; they already know your friends and family, they know what your favourite cocktail is and where you keep the wine glasses, so how bad can it be? Sadly, whatever your reason was for breaking up with them before is probably still there. People generally don’t change and men over 40 are even less likely to change. All those super-irritating habits they had feel even more irritating plus the knowing and disapproving looks from your friends, just waiting to give you the “told you it wouldn’t work” lecture is honestly not worth it.
What is the alternative for avoiding lonely nights drinking eggnog by the Christmas tree watching Elf or Love Actually for the millionth time? How about the old classic - drunk party sex which might lead to someone in your life for the silly season? Drinking copious amounts of your favourite tipple of choice at your favourite drinking hole and snagging yourself an equally drunk male is a strategy that has been working for millenia! I honestly think I might still be a virgin if it wasn't for this strategy - how about you? Alcohol is the greatest social lubricant. A confidence booster. A supplier of slick one-liners and fabulously funny jokes. A makeover in a glass. If we are lucky, the drunken encounter might be with a delicious stranger, but this is Christchurch afterall. It is also likely it could be with your neighbour, old work colleague or your best friends ex!
There may not be a surefire way to make sure you are not alone at Christmas but maybe the key is to not be lonely. Being with the wrong someone is the loneliest place to be, I think we can all agree on this point. There is nothing more lonely than lying next to someone you don’t want to be with or someone you do not feel connected to. It can be heartbreaking and in my humble, anonymous opinion, not at all worth it. So what is the solution?
Gather your single girlfriends around you, get dressed up, put on Michael Buble’s Christmas album and enjoy your singledom. Or have an Orphans Christmas and find other kindred spirits who are also on their own during the festive season or maybe bugger off on holiday and ignore Christmas all together! Because one advantage of being over 40 and without a man, is that we know how to please ourselves, how to fill our own cup and we know that we would rather be alone than put up with a mediocre relationship with the wrong person.
Yes, Christmas can be a terribly difficult and lonely time for some people and there is no easy answer for how to get through it but in my opinion, having the wrong significant other can make it feel much worse. Whatever you are doing, do it in style, with friends or family you love and cocktail in hand and if you get the chance to sit on Santa’s knee, put in a request for Mr Right for next year! But if Santa is cute……… no, no, no some things are sacred ladies!
Merry Christmas!
So, you’re single and over 40. And you’ve now decided that you are ready to meet someone. What now? For some women the time between becoming single and starting to date can vary from days, maybe even hours, to years! But once you make the decision to meet someone, like most women you want it done, now! Sadly it is not that simple and certainly not in Christchurch. As we all know, the most popular way to meet a mate currently is through online dating. Most of the wedding celebrants I know are stating that 8 out of 10 of their wedding couples met via online dating.
But what awaits 40 something’s dating online in Christchurch?
Assuming you are dating in a 40 plus age bracket, the stories are staggeringly similar. Once you get past the married men looking for something “discrete”, the polyamorous guys and men just looking for “fun” you then come across the photo galleries. Men in this age range seem to have a bewildering view of what they think women will find attractive. One common thread is selfies clearly posted first thing in the morning, in white singlets, eyes still sleepy and hair (if they have any) still dishevelled. I think we can all imagine exactly what prompted that photo and thoughts of dating sites at that time of the morning?!
Another common theme is the men looking proud holding up a variety of dead fish of varying sizes! Do they think that we are all desperate to date a fisherman? If these fishermen looked like Aquaman then maybe, but this is not what we are getting on the average online photo gallery! Also, although parts of Canterbury are rural, and there may be some women into a “huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’” kind of guy, most single women in Christchurch are not turned on by a man with a dead deer slung across his shoulders! Sadly judging by the popularity of these type of photos many men think we are. It must be highly distressing for vegans or vegetarians!
As for the written word, it seems that very few profiles are well written or often not written at all. Many women commented on their disappointment when potentials have virtually nothing on their profile, and they also confessed that they secretly swiped left for bad spelling or grammar. Are we all that picky or is it just an indication of our high standards and desire to meet an equal mate? Now before I am accused of man-bashing, I am sure that there are female equivalents but I haven’t gone as far as to create a fake male profile to check them out. As a single female over 40 doing research into the online dating world the consensus is that men need some tuition or help creating their online profiles. Maybe a Charm School or profile proofing business?
But the most common complaint is that the pool of quality profiles in Christchurch is absurdly small and that the same faces keep popping up again and again. So what is the answer? Well, maybe we could expand our preferences, ignore our “type” and be more open-minded when it comes to age, height, location and hair type. Also, maybe we shouldn’t just rely on couch-surfing the likes of Tinder, Bumble, Elite Singles and Hinge. Perhaps we need to get out there and meet people in the real world. Live life and have fun, create experiences, say yes to parties and picnics, join sports clubs and do things outside of our comfort zones. But most of all, be open; open to love, flirting, smiling at strangers on the street and in cafes and remember that Cupid can strike in a heartbeat, in the most unlikely of places, not just on the internet!
Should you ever find yourself in a Central City venue in Christchurch on an evening, it is likely you will see groups of beautifully dressed, attractive women of a certain age enjoying a few glasses of Central Otago Pinot Noir or Rose. Chances are many of these lovely women are part of a fast growing group - the single woman over 40!
Some may have willingly severed a long relationship and are embracing their singledom with the glee of a small child tasting ice cream for the first time. But some find themselves frustratingly alone having been bereaved or betrayed, or maybe they just discovered that the man they thought was “the one” was in fact barely a 0.1. If you find yourself licking your wounds due to a difficult break up or divorce, it may take some time before you even think about dating, let alone feel ready to face another relationship. But eventually most of us find ourselves willing to risk our big toe and dip it back into the dating world…..but what is waiting for us? Especially in Christchurch.
In recent years, the number of single women over the age of 40 has seemingly increased exponentially and I have always been amazed that these women are single. We are talking about attractive, funny, smart women generally with great jobs and a nice home. When us single women get together and talk about dating, the conversation seems to rotate around the same subjects; the woes of on-line dating, the lack of decent men “out there” and the age old question of “where do you go to meet nice men?” Not that we are all transfixed on finding a man - in fact I find it is quite the opposite. Single women lead full lives and we have a lot to talk about because we have a lot going on. Between our careers, children, grandchildren, friends, travelling, pets and social life we fill our own cup and dont need a man. But at some point we generally agree that these things would be better with someone to share them with.
Not to mention, the world is obsessed with love. You only have to watch TV to witness our obsession - The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Married at First Sight, Love Island, Farmer Wants a Wife and even Naked Dating!
In writing this article I am not oblivious to the potential comparison with Sex in the City, or more appropriately, the 50-plus spin-off “And Just Like That”. However, Christchurch is not New York. In SITC new love interests pop up more often than the famous yellow taxi cabs and they are always handsome and wealthy. The epitome of slightly tragic “movie magic” in action!
This series will be an observation and analysis of Cantabrian singledom. From my research, i.e. talking to my single friends and eavesdropping at parties and events, it seems that looking for a potential partner in Christchurch is much like looking for clothes in a second hand shop.
There are plenty out there, but as you search you realise that they are not your type and most are old, thinning and a bit saggy. Worst of all, you can totally understand why their last owner ditched them. But once in a while, after a lot of searching, you find that vintage and unique item that fits perfectly, is beautifully maintained and makes you feel amazing! And that is why we keep searching…..for that diamond in the rough.
Over the next few months we will talk about the reality of being a single woman in this city of ours. How to live, love, laugh and thrive whether happily single or looking for the yin to your yang.
Good luck out there, Cantabrians.
Until next time.
"Not to mention the world is obsessed with love. You only have to watch TV to witness our obsession"
Copyright © 2024 Cantabrian Magazine - All Rights Reserved.